Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Friends

I miss my friends.  I keep up with some of them on facebook and blogs, but I miss having them nearby.  I miss having someone to come by and visit, someone to GO visit nearby, someone to meet for lunch, someone to watch a movie with, someone to go with me to browse in antique shops - someone to do anything with.   When I worked outside the home, I was busy and was not so lonesome.  I still missed my friends, but I wasn't so lonesome.  Does that make sense?  Maybe it was because I was so tired I didn't feel like doing anything.  I think if I lived closer to my sister it would solve this lonesome feeling.  Don't get me wrong,  I love my husband, my boys, my daughter in law and my grandson, but that's just not the same.  Surely I'm not the only one who feels like this. 

At 54 years old I would have thought I'd feel like I fit in somewhere.  I don't.  I would have thought I'd have a group of friends nearby.  I don't.   My life is not what I had expected it would be at this point.  Pardon my reflections.  I'm just venting how I feel.  I know this is not an uplifting, positive post.  That's not unusual for someone who suffers from manic depression and bi-polar.  Mental illness takes its tole in so many ways.  I can understand why I don't have a group of friends here.  Who wants to be around someone who is always drepressed?    Maybe I need to find a 12 step group for depressed people.  LOL  We might become friends. 

Believe me, I'd much rather be a happy upbeat person on the inside instead of having to try to fake it on the outside.  It is exhausting.  Some days are better than others and I go from highs to lows as anyone who is manic depressed does.  I cannot imagine how it would be without my medication.  I don't think I could stand it.   

Sometimes people think people like me are just negative people.  That is so untrue.  If they only knew how badly I wish I was normal.  It's really hard to explain to someone who hasn't dealt with the illness.  I look normal on the outside and I try so hard to act normal around everyone else, but on the inside it's a different story.   I wish I knew the answer.  I wish the medications worked better.  I wish and wish.  I hope and pray.  Sometimes I can't hope anymore, sometimes I stop wishing and yes, sometimes I can't pray.  

Maybe I shouldn't have posted this, but I'm going to because this is how I'm feeling right now.  Here's hoping tomorrow will be better!

Spring Fever

I couldn't resist walking around my yard to see how many weeds were in my flower beds, looking at my trees and thinking how pretty it will be once I can get outside for my "therapy".  I was surprised to see some trees with tiny buds peeking out, some bulbs that were peeking through the dirt and more weeds than I care to deal with.  When the ground dries out enough, I'm going to be putting Round-Up on those weeds, covering the dirt with wet newspapers and putting a fresh layer of mulch on them to stop the weeds.

With the mild winter we've had, my trees and flowers have gotten confused and think it's time to wake up from the winter.  I hope future winter weather doesn't kill them.

Yes, spring fever has arrived for me.  Until I can actually get outside and do what I love - making a pretty yard, I guess I'll continue doing things inside that I don't do during warm weather.  That will include washing all my curtains/drapes, cleaning the window blinds, painting and a little more organizing.

I will be planting a big garden this year, too.  Can't wait for fresh corn, butter beans, peas, okra, tomatoes, green beans, onions and whatever I decide to grow.  Hopefully I'll have a freezer full by the time summer is over.  It's funny how things I just "hated" having to do in the past are now things I love doing.  

I can't wait!  I love gardening.  Digging in the dirt is an urge that hits me every year.  Hubby says I'm running out of places to plant things.  I disagree!  There are plenty areas that could use a tree or a flower bed.

It's nice having something to look forward to.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Protecting Our Children and Grandchildren.

I was just reading an update to the story about the missing toddler, Ayla Reynolds.  Have you noticed how often toddlers go missing?  It breaks my heart and makes me furious at the same time.  What is wrong with these people?  How can anyone put a toddler, a child or anyone else through this?  It's awful for anyone, but there's just something about someone harming a child that's just beyond my comprehension. I would personally like to get my hands on people who do this.  I pray that Ayla is found okay, but it's not looking good.  I personally think the last person who was with the child should be held without bond even though they are considered innocent until proven guilty. 

I never went missing - ever.  I was sexually abused as a child (not by my parents) but I can tell you that I never forgot and it never stopped affecting me.  When I was young, it was not something I was warned about and it was not something that was talked about either.  How I wish I had told someone.  I can assure you I explained very early to my boys that there are evil people in this world and swore that if anyone ever touched them inappropriately, that person would deal with my wrath and it would not be pretty.  Now that I have a grandson, I'll make sure he understands as well.  NO ONE messes with my kids or grandson.  The innocence of children is taken away already by TV, movies and just walking down the street.  A lot of people no longer care about being a good example to their children.  Don't get me wrong, I made mistakes with mine too.  But, the world was a different place when they were growing up.   Mistakes and evil weren't as rampant as they are today.  It's practically impossible to protect them from all the things being crammed down their throats by TV, the news, commercials, things taught in schools that I don't think should be taught and the filth that is rampant today.  God help them.  God help us all. We should all be very careful what is watched, heard and seen in our homes.

Till next time,
Be safe~!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Productive Day...All Because I Was Frustrated

When I get frustrated, I cannot sit.  I either have to go to bed and try to sleep or I get in the spastic mode of doing something that needs to be done.  Today was one of those days.  I took my frustration out on my bathroom vanity drawers, under the sinks and the drawers on my nightstand.  I have them organized and accumulated two kitchen trash bags full of junk; some of it years old.  Some of it has made 3 to 4 moves with me.  Ridiculous.  I'm rather proud that I got those chores done even though a bad day is what prompted me to do them.

Next on the list is hubby's closet.  I have begged and pleaded with him to do it.  He works, he broke his elbow and there have been numerous reasons AND excuses why it hasn't been done.  He had his opportunity!!! LOL  I cleaned out my closet recently and I have nothing left much.  I had clothes that were too small, too big, and clothes that I haven't worn in 5 years.  They are gone.  He may walk into his closet and find nothing left.

When the closet is finished, I'll be doing Andrew's room - again.  I had organized all his toys and separated the "baby toys" from the ones he actually plays with now.  Once he realized they were all organized, he wanted to play with everything.  His little friends who come over from time to time also want to play with everything.  The baby toys are going to be packed and moved out.  I want to paint his room and decorate it for a little boy.  I first thought I'd fix it as a guest bedroom, but I never have guests, so it's going to be his room and if by chance someone visits and stays here, they can use his room.   He sleeps with me anyway, so that won't be a big deal.

Greg is using the 4th bedroom as a weight room.  (Sigh)  His weight bench and accessories  prevent me from using it for anything else.

On another note, my internet service with ATT has driven me bonkers today.  It's been cutting on and off all day.  I spent an hour trying to talk to a person with no luck.  Finally, I was able to get online long enough to chat online with someone and a technician will be here tomorrow afternoon.  If they can't fix the problem, I'm going to bite the bullet and change to Comcast service for internet.  It will cost $20 more per month after a year, but I have cancelled garbage pickup service and will be hauling my trash to the county dump and that saves me $20 per month.  So, we'll see what happens.

I was not in the mood to cook a full meal tonight, so I'm making chicken salad.  Another frustration - I asked my son to buy a loaf of bread and a bag of chips on his way home from work.  He went into the store for something he wanted and "forgot" what I'd asked him to bring home.  GRRRR

Jon's been having back pain - severe back pain and has been to the doctor several times.  He has gotten a round of shots and they have not helped.  He was to work a double shift today and had to leave early because the pain was so bad he was in tears.  He is now in the emergency room and I'm waiting anxiously to hear what they have to say.  He's gone before for the same problem and I'm hoping this time they will do all the tests necessary to find out what's causing this.  Please keep him in your prayers.

Right now, I'm listening to American Idol try-outs and dear me.  Some of these people amaze me - not in a good way.  I do not like the audition portion of this show.  They didn't ask me, though.  HA HA HA

I've rambled enough - more than enough.

Be safe~!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Just Rambling

It's been a good weekend although Andrew wore me out.  He had several episodes of the terrible twos and it's the first time I've encountered that with him.  He will be 3 in March, so I'm hoping he's just getting it out of his system.

I went to Publix yesterday and purchased the buy one get on free items I wanted.  I love getting one free!  I went to Sams and purchased my meats.  Found a roast reduced for quick sale and cooked it yesterday.  It was delicious.

Hubby has been suffering with a toothache this weekend.  How well I know the misery of that.  I recently had two teeth pulled - jaw teeth - because I could not afford the root canals and crowns.  Such is the life of someone without health/dental insurance.

We're expecting some severe weather here tonight within an hour or so.  Guess the weather radio will keep me up most of the night.  I'm glad I have one.

I still have to clip coupons from the papers today.  Just wasn't in the mood to do it after Drew left.  I have several things that will keep me busy tomorrow but I'm determined to get them done.  Still trying to choose a paint color for the living room and I'm sure once it's painted I'll have to paint other rooms.

Hoping Greg gets a car soon.  I'm having to wake up early every day to take him to work.  Hubby does not like being home without a vehicle.

Got my Corelle dishes in and I love them.  Hoping to get out of the habit of buying paper plates.  That's just another way to save money!  I'm looking at everything I do to see where I can cut corners or save.  I don't think I'll every pay full price again for most things I use.

Typos

Last night I decided to read my blogs and oh my goodness.  I found typos. Ugh.  I don't like typos at all and have always been allergic to them.  LOL  Maybe that's why I felt the need to re-read what I'd posted.  Instead of posting a long blog right now, I'm going to correct the errors. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Sun Is Shining!

Although it's cold outside this morning, the sun is shining brightly and what a gift that is to me.  As someone suffering from depression, sunny days are a Godsend.  No matter the circumstances I'm in or problems I have, waking up to a sunny morning lifts my spirits.

As I sit here, I look out the back door and there are numerous birds on the ground pecking around for worms or bugs.  The recent rain has made the ground soft and ripe for their pecking.  I love birds and watching them.  They are so in tune with their surroundings.  (I don't like blackbirds and vultures.)

I was in my garage over the weekend (yes, I smoke) and as I was standing there, two bluebirds swooped down into the edge of the garage and grabbed a piece of dog food.  Two or three other birds had the same idea, but before they got the food, they looked all around and saw me standing there.  They flew away without food.  I wish there was some way I could have let them know I wasn't a danger to them.  I need to fill up my bird feeders.

How many times in life do we see warning signs and ignore them?  Not signs on the road, but a gut feeling that lets us know there is danger ahead?  I know I've done that and have suffered the consequences.  (Nothing illegal at all.)   I'm thankful God forgives and forgets!  There are times when I'm trying to go to sleep that thoughts of past mistakes play havoc with my mind and I wish so much that I could forget them.  I think I've forgiven myself, but try as I may, I cannot forget them and they creep into my mind.  I think that happens to remind me of what I have or have not done and warning signs I ignored.  I don't know why that's necessary at all.  I do know that as I've gotten older, I pay much more attention to the little warning signs that signal danger ahead.  We live and learn.

Do you pay attention to your surroundings and the feeling inside that lets you know there's danger ahead?  If not, you should.  It will save you heartache and trouble in the future. 

Have a wonderful day and if you're blessed with sunshine, stop for a few minutes and be aware of your surroundings.  If nothing else, it will give you a few moments to forget past mistakes and enjoy nature.

Till next time...

Be safe~!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Blogging

This blogging thing is going nowhere fast.  I have one follower.  Yippee.  It's similar to my home on facebook - it's like talking to myself.  Oh well.  It's not going to stop me.  Sometimes I wonder why...

Andrew's been so sweet.  This morning we took his dad to work and ran errands until just after lunchtime. Shortly after, it was time to go pick up his dad and he went to sleep in the car.  Of course I'm the one so sleepy I can hardly hold my eyes open now.

This one is going to be short.  Andrew wants to watch tractors on you tube.

Stay safe~!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I Won Something!!!

I never win anything.  I can enter for drawings, door prizes (in years past), contests - you name it.  I never won...until now!  My DIL has not only gotten me couponing, she's gotten me into entering  give-a-ways.  Yeah, me.  And what do you know!  I woke up this morning to an email that informed me I had won a $50 Walmart gift card from a facebook page I liked that had a give-a-way.  I was thrilled!  Who knows, I may win the lottery tonight!

I really haven't been busy today.  I did get up and bake a cake so Jon and Brenda could have some.  I tweaked the Pineapple Cake recipe by adding 2 eggs and a cup of pineapple juice to the cake mix.  It definitely made a difference and that's the way I'll be making that cake from now on.  Around noon, I drove hubby to Hendersonville which  is about an hour away.  He had a meeting there so I went to Target to kill some time rather than sit in the SUV.  I did do two loads of laundry after I got home.  Other than that, I've done nothing.  Brenda colored my hair for me before they left and since then, I've been fighting sleep.  I'm staying awake just in case I have the winning lottery ticket! HA

My grandson comes over tomorrow night for the weekend, so tomorrow I will get my house straightened up, run to Sams to purchase meats, pay some bills, etc and by then he will be here.  If I'm really smart with my time, I may squeeze in a nap before he arrives.  Nana needs to get extra rest in order to keep up with Andrew!

That's all from here.  Till next time...

Be safe~!

Good Day

I had errands to run today and my DIL, Brenda, agreed to go with me.  Some of the errands involved coupons so her assistance was greatly appreciated.  We saved $50+ today on groceries!  Every little bit I save helps.

In an effort to feel better about myself, I got my nails done today.  It's been so long since I did that with the intention of going for regular fill-ins.  The nails were $20 and fill-ins are $12.  I'm hoping I can keep them done this time.  It's been so long since I wanted to do anything for myself.  As a treat to Brenda, I had hers done as well.

Yankee Candle had a 75% off sale, so I splurged and bought 3 candles.  I enjoy burning candles and with dogs in the house, it can't hurt to have a pleasant scent around.

Michaels had some yarn on sale for $1.00, so I bought 3 of them to crochet into something - probably dish rags.

If you notice, there's a pattern here to my shopping trip...coupons and sales.  The sales have to be really good to get my money and it must be something I really need or want.  There's not much I want which is a good thing, because I can't afford to buy many wants.  I don't mind.  I have everything I need, but every now and then it feels good to go spend a little on a want (candles and yarn).  I'm over the years of "I like that, I want it".  I've found that wants tend to clutter a house or get stuck in a closet somewhere and even if I had the money, I can't justify spending it on something that I don't need.  It's amazing how I consider every purchase I make now.  Hitting rock bottom financially gave me a good old slap in the face and a wake-up call.

Jon and Brenda had supper with us tonight and they are spending the night here.  I love it when they're able to do that.  Greg hung with us until 10 and then headed off to bed.  He has to work tomorrow, of course, and is very careful to make sure he gets to bed before late.  I love my family.

I'm hoping tomorrow will be a rather slow day for me.  With fibro, it doesn't take much to wear me out and normally after a day like today, I won't feel like doing anything at all tomorrow.

All in all, today has  been a good day and Lord knows I needed a good one.  We had tornado warnings while we were out and about, but it didn't slow us down.  We were safe inside Walmart!  Thank God for safety  Once the storms blew through, cold weather blew in.

That's about it for today.  Hope your day was lovely.

Be safe~!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Mellow Monday

After staying up until after 2am this morning, I've had a rather lazy day.  I did manage to sweep my floors and do some laundry.  I also had a nap.  Now, I'm in the middle of cooking supper - meatloaf, mashed potatoes, fried corn and green beans.

I'm in the process of making a list of things I want to get done around the house.  Some of the items will involve the use of power tools!! Woot Woot.  The list of things I want to do is a bit overwhelming, but I plan to tackle one room at a time.  With any luck, I'll be finished by spring which means I can work in the yard.  Yes, I'm looking forward to spring and sunshine!  These gray days wreak havoc on my depression.  Last week when I went to the doctor for my meds refill, he and I discussed the depression and the fact that we are doing all we can for it from a medical standpoint.  Ughhhh.  I have GOT to do something to help with this as I cannot imagine having to feel this way from now on.

I have a bad habit of staying in my pjs all day.  I see no reason to get dressed if I'm not going anywhere.  I'm told that I should get dressed every day, fix my hair and makeup, get a hobby or volunteer that it should help some.  Maybe I should do that.  I'm definitely getting a hobby.  Between the depression and fibromyalgia, I'm a mess some days.  The fibro causes pain, no energy and numerous other things.  Today for instance, the bottoms of my feet feel as though they are on fire inside.  The burning has not subsided.  I lie down, sit up, prop my feet up and try to get some relief.  The best thing I've found is putting my feet on ice.   Anyone who suffers from either of these illnesses can understand, I'm sure.

Can someone tell me where all the dust comes from?  I could dust every day and probably should.  One of the items on my list of things to do is to clean my blinds.  Oh how I hate that chore.  Sometimes it would almost be worth it to take them down and just not put them back up.  If not for one neighbor, I would.  We have 5 acres here and the one neighbor's house is close enough to ours that they could see in my upstairs bedroom window if I didn't have blinds.  Oh well.  I'll spare them the lovely view.

My meatloaf is smelling pretty good!  Guess I'll go finish cooking supper.

Be safe~!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Weekend

My little man, Andrew, just left.  Boo hoo.  My weekend has consisted of playing with Andrew.  Yesterday, he played outside for a few minutes and decided it was too cold.  It didn't matter that Nana and Pa said it was too cold, HE had to find out for himself.  Two year olds (almost three) have to find things out for themselves a lot.

Today, Andrew and I went to visit Jon and Brenda.  Andrew loves going to see them and asks about them every day he's here.  He loves his Bubba and Bren.

As I type, I have my oven preheating to make that Pineapple Cake.  Can't wait to taste it.  I just know it's going to be delish.

My coupon purchase today was two Colgate toothbrushes for $.22 each.  Walmart had them for .97 and I had two .75 coupons.  I purchased another couple of newspapers, so later tonight I'll be clipping coupons.  Love it!

I decided today that I'm going to re-learn to crochet, if it kills me.  There's no reason I shouldn't be making afghans.  Once I get good at that, I may attempt to crochet a bedspread or comforter.  We'll see.

I don't have a bucket list yet, but my goal for this month was to make one.  I'll share it when it's done and hope to be able to mark off a few things as the year progresses.

That's enough blogging for today, I think.  Enjoy the rest of the weekend and...

Be Safe~!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Yippee!

I did it!  I got my coupon binder put together, my coupons are in it and I am "coupon organized".  It feels good to have accomplished something today!  I'm anxiously looking forward to the Sunday paper so I can get more coupons and peruse the sales for various stores!

My grandson, Andrew, is here for the weekend.  He was asleep when Greg brought him in, so I haven't been able to get my hugs, kisses or play with him yet.  He must have had a busy day.

Our 1/2 inch of snow is gone!  It's cold here, though.  I guess Andrew will have to play inside this weekend.  He is not going to like that.

We don't have any plans for the weekend other than staying warm and playing with Andrew.  I think Jon and Brenda will be over here at some point (yay) so we'll probably have a meal together.  Maybe they'll come for breakfast if they know I'm going to have tomato gravy!!!

Happy Friday the 13th.  I'm not in to superstitions, but if you are, do what you do on Friday the 13th!

Till next time...

Be safe~!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Pineapple Cakes/Cupcakes

 I saw this recipe on a blog I follow.  I have not tried it yet, but will be doing so within the next few days!  It sounds divine.

Pineapple Cupcakes with Fluffy Cream Cheese Frosting

Prep Time: 15 minutes 
Bake: According to cake mix box directions. 
Cool: 20 minutes 
Yield: 24 cupcakes


Cupcakes/Cake

18.25 oz box yellow cake mix
20 oz can crushed pineapple in juice  (do not drain)
2 tablespoons Jell-o Cheesecake Pudding Mix

Preheat oven according to cake mix directions.
Combine ingredients in a large bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat until well combined.

Fill lined cupcake tin, 2/3 full and bake according to cake mix directions, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Set aside to cool.


Frosting

7 ounce jar marshmallow creme
16 ounces cream cheese, room temperature

In large bowl, beat ingredients until well combined. 
Spread
 on cooled cupcakes and refrigerate until ready to eat.



Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Money - Or The Lack Thereof...

I'm excited!  My daughter-in-law, Brenda, has gotten me on the couponing train.  She went with me today to Walgreens and CVS to purchase three specific items that I had coupons for.  (She had already made a trip for herself.)  Since I haven't quite comprehended the knack for getting the most of our using coupons, she had to teach Nana!  Thank you, sweet Brenda!  I purchased $75 worth of products for $25.  The $50 I saved paid for my visit to the doctor's office this morning!  WOOT WOOT

In years past, I was blessed to not have to worry too much about buying food and necessities.  Due to bad luck and other problems, I've had about 4 years of worrying non-stop.  I worry from hubby's paycheck to paycheck.  After our income dropped drastically, I think twice about what I buy.  I've never been one to keep up with the Whoevers and I really couldn't care less what people think of my financial status.  As long as we have a roof over our heads and food to eat along with electricity, water, phone, internet, TV and gas money, I'm ok.  I've had to learn to deal with not having health insurance, life insurance or other things that I used to think were necessities.  I know, necessities don't include internet and TV, but those are two things we've managed to keep so far.  The day may come when we can't afford that.  However, hubby has to have the internet for work, so I guess it IS a necessity.  (Thank goodness!)

Back to coupons - I was talking to my sister on the phone after my couponing excursion and she said she had started clipping them too because it's like just throwing money away not to.  I agree!  So, get ready, people in the check-out lines!  You're not gonna like me, probably.  I really don't care, because I will be saving money.  If I can reduce our grocery bill by 2/3 or more, I will be absolutely thrilled.   Shoot, I would be happy to reduce that bill by any amount at this point, but I may as well aim for the moon!

Now I have to stop blogging and get my coupon binder put together so I can organize my coupons!  My daughter-in-law did not volunteer to do that for me!!!  HA HA HA  Don't blame her.

Be safe~!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Welcome!

Hello, Blog-land.  This morning while cleaning house, I decided to start blogging publicly.  If you know me, please don't take offense to anything I may post here! 

In the past 54 years...

I grew up on a farm in Mississippi.  My father worked for a gas pipeline company 40 hours per week and also farmed his land to help provide for his family.  He and my mother have been married 59 years which is amazing.  They were blessed with me, my sister and two brothers!

At 18, I eloped with my childhood sweetheart who happened to be our neighbor.  We divorced two years later (because we were young and stupid to have gotten married in the first place) and then later I married Dale.  Dale and I had two boys, Jon and Greg.  Later, Dale and I divorced for reasons I won't explain here and I later married another guy who cheated on me, so I divorced him.  Dale came to his senses and we remarried 6 years ago which put my family back together again!  I know-it's exhausting just reading about it. :-)   Jon married Brenda this past November.  Brenda has 4 children from a previous marriage and is trying to add the 5th with Jon!  Greg has yet to marry, but has an almost 3 year old son who named me Nana.  I've found that I just love being called Nana, so that's how this blog got it's name.

I held a full-time job for 30+ years and only worked at two companies.  I was loyal to those two companies.  The first, I worked at for nearly 25 years.   I left the second firm to re-marry Dale and so far, I have not had to work outside the home in the past 6 years.  I probably would have if I was physically and mentally able to.  I suffer from fibromyalgia, severe depression and other things I won't discuss. 

Life has definitely been a trip - especially these past 6 years.  I may share some of our reality with you in later posts.  This one is just to give you a little background about me.

So, welcome to my world of ramblings.  I look forward to hearing from you too! 

Please note - any posts containing foul language or content will be deleted.  Help me keep this blog family friendly!

Till next time - Take care of yourself and be safe.